It is hard to believe but this dreary sickly dirge spent 3 weeks at number 1 in the UK and was the second biggest selling single of 1986. Heavily featured in Eastenders before poor old Nick ‘Wicksy’ Berry was written out, the pull of this single was almost subliminal, in a “i-don’t-know-why-i’m-buying-it-but-i-want-it”, type way that Alpha-waved hypnotised TV watchers shop. Sigh.
Recorded by Scottish folk singer Mary Sandeman in a vaguely ‘Engrish’ accent, she got her name after the producer and writer of the song leafed through a telephone directory and came across the name Aneka and though ‘that’ll do’. “Japanese Boy” was a hit all over Europe and a No.1 in 5 countries including the UK and went on to sell 5 million copies. It probably sold more copies after it was featured in the game “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” in 2002. Not bad for a one hit wonder.
Here we have it, the musical equivalent of sitting in a luke warm bath. I wonder if it is possible for this song to be any more bland? The song title has ‘Sail Away’ suffixed as this is the only part of the lyrics people can really understand over the rest of the misheard dirge. In South Park, Stan’s grandfather tries to show Stan how bad it is to be old, by locking him in a room and playing him this track until he agrees to Euthanise him.
The year is 2003 and the Osbourne clan are at the height of their fame after a reality TV show based on their family, is a massive hit on MTV. To cash in, Kelly and Ozzy decided to do a cover of this old Black Sabbath song. I can’t see Ozzy’s fans liking this or Kelly’s younger fans. No, this sickly rendition is built to appeal squarely at the nans and mums. It doesn’t just press the emotionally mummy button, it punches it in the metaphorical kidney. It still makes me wince ever time I hear the first few bars.
“Axel F” (a remix of the 1980s Harold Faltermeyer song), was released on 23 May 2005 and became one of the most successful singles of the year 2005. “Axel F” debuted at number one in the UK, remaining there for four weeks. Yes, a whole damn month. If you every came across someone with this as their ringtone, it didn’t invoke angry, but pity for such a weak minded simpleton of a consumer. They would probably buy a turd-in-a-jar if it was advertised during the X-Factor. God help us.
Note: This is the censored video where the frog is minus a mini set of male human genitalia.